In the last two blog, we’ve looked at the weight so many of us are feeling right now, and why it lands so hard when you’ve been gathering it all year on top of everything that came before.
The clocks go back next weekend. Have you ever noticed how the darker evenings change how you feel? For a system that’s already running on high alert, even an hour’s shift in light and sleep can make everything feel that bit harder.
This week, let’s look at what all that holding is actually doing to you.
Your body has a built-in alarm system, which is one of the jobs of your nervous system. When it senses danger, it gears you up to act. Your heart speeds up, your muscles tense, your breathing quickens and your mind starts scanning for what might go wrong next. In a real emergency, that alarm is brilliant. And it’s designed to switch off again once the danger has passed.
But what happens when the danger never quite passes?
When the news, the worries and the to-do list keep coming, your alarm system never gets the all-clear. It stays switched on in the background. After a while, you stop noticing it. It just becomes how you feel.
Have you noticed any of the following lately?
You’re exhausted, yet you can’t drop off. Or you sleep, but wake up feeling as though you haven’t slept at all. You reach for something sweet, another coffee or a glass of wine just to get through the evening. Your shoulders live somewhere near your ears. Your digestion is all over the place. Aches and pains come and go, and nothing seems to shift them. Little noises make you jump. You read the same paragraph three times. You can’t remember the last time you properly laughed.
None of these signs is random.
Each one is your system telling you it has been on high alert for too long.
Some people go the other way. Instead of feeling wired, they feel flat. Numb. Just going through the motions. That flatness can come from the same alarm system, once it has nothing left to give.
There’s another cost too.
When you’re on high alert, your world shrinks to getting through the day. The things that give your life meaning start to slip away: the walk you used to love, time with friends, the hobby you’ve put on hold, the feeling that you’re living the life you actually want. It’s hard to remember what matters when your body thinks it’s under threat.
If you run a business, or you care for others for a living, you’ll know this from both sides.
You’ve gathered your own year, and you’ve absorbed everyone else’s too: the client who wobbled, the cash flow worry, the patient you can’t stop thinking about, the team member having a hard time or, if you work alone, every single decision resting on you. So you keep doing, doing, doing, because the people relying on you need you to. But when there’s no room left, decisions take longer, patience runs thinner, and there’s very little of you left for the people you love at the end of the day.
None of this means there’s something wrong with you. Your body is doing exactly what it was built to do. It’s just been asked to do it for far too long.
Calming yourself down in the moment helps, and it’s worth doing. But the deeper work is building the capacity for your system to stand down by itself, and to trust that it’s safe to do so. That’s what changes how you feel day to day, not just for an evening.
This week, see if you can catch your alarm system in action. When do you feel your shoulders rise, your breath catch or your jaw tighten? What were you thinking about just before it happened?
And one more question to sit with: If your body could speak right now, what would it be asking you for?
If you'd like to begin the noticing together, October's free Yin & Tonic is an invitation to do just that, and to start shifting something within. It's free and online via Zoom on Thursday 29th October, 7pm to 7.30pm UK time. Register here whilst spaces are available. This months theme is 'Finding your steady in a chaotic world'.
No experience needed. No need to be visible. No need to share anything about you.
Will you join me?
0 Comments